Nobody's Fool

Dumbest thief ever

So the day before my birthday, earlier this month, someone got hold of my credit card number. Unlike before when this happened, my plastic was still secured snugly in my wallet, so the likely scenario is that somebody grabbed it from some Internet e-commerce database or copied it from a receipt in a store.

Luckily, FIA Card Services discovered it almost immediately and by the evening called to let me know there had been suspicious activity on my card. The total damage: $97. Andrew and I laughed over dinner that this obviously amateur credit card thief hadn't gone on more of a shopping spree. The last time someone lifted my credit cards (slipping them from my wallet at work several days before Christmas) they went on an afternoon-long shopping spree that started at a Target in Daly City and ended (when the cards were finally turned off) at the Tiffany & Co. in Walnut Creek. The card companies in that case were set back nearly $3,000.

But here's the weirdest part of this story. A couple of days ago, I got a box via UPS. From a supplement company. I opened it up to find this "cleansing system" that promised to rid me of gas and bloating. It was one of those membership programs with this beaming guy named Tony beaming on the enclosed brochure, promising to make me feel better forever. The invoice was for $75. And the product was shipped, and billed, to me. Ordered over the Internet on 1/5, the day that Internet thief had stolen my card.

I was a little thrown off. Why in the world would somebody use a stolen credit card to have product shipped to someone else? I thought maybe it was a mistake at first. And yet, today, UPS pulled up again. One of the fraudulent charges I remember from the list that the fraud services rep read off was for a coffee company called Boca Java -- I remember it only because it was the first company I didn't recognize after he read off some of my genuine charges, and I had to think for a moment whether I'd ordered coffee online for someone. Well guess what showed up today! Four bags of coffee, a bag of cocoa, two mugs and some gingerbread. Billed and shipped to me.

I am a little nervous about this. First, would somebody really be that dumb? Second, in both cases somebody signed me up for a monthly membership to these companies; Boca Java promised me another shipment next month. What I'm trying to figure out is ... is this a scam that I'm not smart enough to catch on to yet? Even though my card got canceled, will I inevitably be bitten by these products that keep showing up to my house? And what is my thieving friend getting out of this?

Whatever it is, I'm hoping it's just somebody who's sitting at home waiting for his/her box of Boca Java coffee to arrive and realizing that he/she bungled the scam.

Happy New Year

I am back! Anyone checking this blog on a semi-regular basis might have thought I've been in deep mourning about Grace Paley's death since August 25, but in fact I've had my hands full with some major life decisions. Over on Gordita's blog I listed the many things that were making us crazy in October/November. Those things, plus some good old-fashioned soul-searching, brought me to the realization that life is short, babies grow up to be cowgirls (and rambunctious toddlers), and I can't keep putting off my dreams until life is slower, cheaper and easier. So, I announced my resignation from Corporate America in November and beginning January 1 have taken Night Writer Communications full-time. Hooray!

I will still, of course, continue working for Corporate America, and so remain, with apologies to John Edwards, devoted to corporate greed. (That's just a disclaimer, in case you have taken my career move as some kind of slap in the face to The Man. I love you, The Man. Hire me!)

What is so funny about this is that, overnight, I have attempted to restore some semblance of what we writer-types tend to refer to as The Writer's Life. I lovingly lined up all my style manuals, my copy of The Elements of Style, my design manuals and other texts on the corner of my desk. I spent way too much time selecting the perfect pens (Pilot Precise V5 black rolling ball, medium point, in case you're interested) and way too much money on the perfect notebooks (purchased from a Japanese office supply store in Japantown, believe it or not). I also bought a little Moleskin pocket notebook to carry with me in case inspiration strikes. Because even though my bread and butter is going to continue to come from The Man (hugs), I want to use this career move to get back to what I was hoping to do in the first place — write.

So, here's what is going to be interesting about all this: whether I can retrain my reactive, multi-tasking brain, which has been conditioned like a monkey to juggle five projects at once and make sure all the pieces fall into place, to slow down and indulge in ideas for awhile. Whether I can create the kind of schedule that allows me to spend time exploring, thinking and experimenting with writing. Ultimately, I'd like to get in a regular habit of submitting queries to magazines for articles, but I think when I am constantly busy-busy-busy my mind closes itself to new ideas. Some kind of daily routine of reading, journaling and free-writing is going to be essential to getting back to being a "real writer" again.

I suspect this blog is going to help me with that. And now that I have time to myself, without The Man's (love you baby) IT department monitoring what I'm doing all day long, I don't have an excuse for not musing here every now and again. So bear with me while I learn how to be a writer again!